Mocktail Hour

It's NEW YEARS EVE!  Are you having a party to ring in the new year?

This is one of my favorite non-alcoholic champagne recipes. It's festive, it's light and it's for you and your kids tonight. And did I mention how bored I am of Martinelli's.

1 litter ginger-ale
22 oz pineapple juice
32 oz white grape juice

Double or triple the recipe.  Mix and chill.  Drink and Enjoy.

My suggestion is to serve in a carafe vs. a punch bowl.   It's easier and more elegant for pouring, wherever your guests may be.

To add variety, pick up some good (emphasis in good!) grenadine and make Shirly Temples and Roy Rogers. A twist on the traditional Soda.  Dirty Doctor Peppers will also make your guest fall in love with soda again.  At least it did for me.

Sunday Best

jhghiT

Easy and comfortable church attire.  At least for me anyway.  I love this dress from Athleta....and it hugs my curves in all the right places (insert gratitude for spanx here).  The boots I already own.  The purse and glasses, I'll never be able to afford.

The nomination has passed me by

I work from home.  It is a would be ideal scenario for the working mother, single mom guilt.  Other days, it brings more stress than it might be worth.  Yesterday was high up on list of "those" days.  I transitioned from working full time at the office specifically so I could spend more time with my son and be a better mother.  I so cherish the opportunity to pick him up from school and be available for him.

At 5:45am I was up and working.  I'm on conference calls all morning but have a 30 minute window where I get my son up, get him dressed, turn off the Angry Birds as to finish getting him ready for his day.  When he is dropped off at school the mental checklist of the morning has been fulfilled.

Here is a run down of our conversation yesterday afternoon.

Zoom:  I'm really hungry.  I didn't eat lunch today
He is 5 and I usually find the majority of his lunch still in his lunchbox 

Dori:  Why didn't you eat lunch today?

Zoom:  You didn't pack me one

Dori:
Speechless as the guilt rushed down my spine as I realized I didn't feed him breakfast either

We all make mistakes but there are those mistakes that make you really think about your priorities.  Am I achieving the goal I set out to do?  Am I giving him enough attention to make it worth the financial sacrifice? Why do I let others control my stress level and the ability to do my jobs?  Has this ever happened to you?  I know I'm not alone and know that there are many things I'm not doing.  But its the innocent reminders that keep our pride from letting us think we're doing it all.  Because as woman, we never feel that we can.  It's the paradox of this crazy world we live in.

Needless to say.  I packed a lunch for him today.

Let the countdown begin!

It's December. The holy crap is inferred.  I'm not sure I've quite yet grasped that 'tis the season.  I had a nightmare last night that I had forgotten to buy my son a Christmas gift before he went to his dad's.  It's a hard perdicament I'm in.  I vowed I would never enter a store in December again but yet need to find the Christmas spirit.  Does that sound like Scrooge or plain old good logic in saving sanity this time of year.

However, thank goodness for holiday tradition. Rephrase. Thank goodness for other people's holiday tradition!  And in this case, thank goodness for my brother and his beautiful family. Every year they do a Christmas video in place of their holiday card. Last year's video made me laugh and cry. This years video is helping me get in the mood for the fun and uplifting season before us.  Let's celebrate and sing.  Bryan Setzer is always a good choice for a singing companion.


...and if you are one of those high definition folks click here.  

Hear Mama Bear Roar!

Fact:  I'm divorced
Fact:  I'm a single mother
Fact:  I am no less valuable as a human being because of the two previous statements.

......and neither is my son.  Now how to teach a five year old that he isn't defined by the actions of his parents is a whole new awareness I have.

The fact of the matter is that you are treated differently. You are labeled. Especially in the mormon culture of my pedigree.  It's like I'm wearing a big scarlet letter on my chest (no this isn't some admittance of guilt) or a yellow star as an identifying mark.  Fortunately I am stubborn. I won't be defined by this label.  It was a decision I made to better my life and and the life of my future child. I was right.  However, with every decision it's inevitable that the judgement comes.

Recently my son was labeled as the kid whose parents were divorced. He knew that it was meant to make him feel bad but wasn't quite sure why it should. The hardest part was that it came from a family member.  The people who are supposed to love us unconditionally - without judgement.

This is where mama bear roars.  Not at the little boy who desired to lessen the confidence of my son, but rather at life...at people...and at labels.  He is innocent, perfect and shouldn't be defined as such.  Can I teach him his worth?  Can he shrug off this label as easily as I can?  Can he emotionally understand that the labels of others  have more to do with their own insecurities than that of reality?

A battle is brewing.  To win this ridiculous war and shed light on the issue. I will fight to the death to protect the worth of my child. Not just mine, but others as well.  Nothing will limit his knowledge of his own personal worth.

It all starts at home.

Dare Dream Do

Two words you need to know.

Disruptive Innovation

....and if you want to sound smart you should use them in a sentence together.  Because it's a theory, a business model, or even an approach to life.  Confused?  So was I, however I'm really excited about what I now know, and am learning, and am thinking about.  So excited that I forked out money for a book.....to learn....to understand....and to be inspired.  Hence the reason I'm sharing with you!

As much as I'd never heard these words together I had also not heard of Whitney Johnson. She was one of INC magazine's top 12 people to follow on twitter in 2012.  She also writes for the Harvard Business Review, is a speaker for TEDx, and co-founded and investment firm with Clay Christensen who is the foremost expert in disruptive innovation (I told you you'd sound smart if you used them in a sentence...or maybe it was her resume that made me sound more intelligent than I am!).

She also wrote a book.  Which you need to read.  Even buy I might add.  Because it will inspire you.  To do what you need to do, or what you maybe have been thinking of doing.  I know it has for me and I feel better about daring and dreaming and doing than I have in a long time.  It has been the kick starter to motivation.

Dare Dream Do

I'll even send you my copy if you want.....After I'm done reading it a second time (I follow the Stephen Covey approach to book reading). Because I share her dream......in helping you achieve yours.

You can also watch this video to learn more about her.  It's what inspired me on my information quest last Friday and prompted the 'stop everything and drive to Barnes and Nobel'.  Your life might just change because of it.  I know mine has.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td8MvK1Dy_0&feature=youtu.be

My kind of Craft

Years ago I gave up crafting.

There were multiple reasons involved. 

I now thoroughly enjoy my craft less life.  

However, every so often my desire to replicate creativeness slowly rises.  It's usually when I see something easy...or disposable.  Because perfectionism can't seep back into my life and ruin my project.

Hence...the advent Calendar.   

And

because it's easy.  

and I know I can do it.  

I already own the supplies

no money needs to be spent

I won't spend hours not finishing

and I'll feel good when I complete it in 15 minutes.

(a few of the reasons that help explain why I gave up crafting.)

Clothes pins and washi tape.  As easy as Pie!

It's not original to me so check it out here where credit is due. of StylEASYmo!

TGIF.........Need I Say More

It's Friday! Let the Hallelujah chorus begin. No work, No homework for Zoom and I can actually sleep past 5:30 tomorrow morning. After a long and stressful week I am ecstatic for the weekend.  I'm headed to San Diego to discuss a future project in the making.  But it will not be work.......especially when it's with an old friend.

While the words San Diego are relaxing enough, I ran across this photography collection from Antony Spencer.  I was instantly enamored. What amazing moments this man has captured.  I longed to be at each location he has ever shot.  Go to his site and check out his portfolio! If you can't make it to San Diego this weekend, I have a feeling it will transport you to a place with less stress and its a good reminder of how beautiful and amazing this planet is.  

Oh Boy! Girls are sure opinionated....

In the past few months I read this article.  It's thought provoking to say the least. It's about woman and if they truly can have it all by ANNE-MARIE SLAUGHTER.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/

Today I read this article.  My eyebrows raised a little as I noticed I had an opinion too.   Was I referenced in this article? Not directly by name, but by position or role in life (working woman, mother etc).

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1012/82586.html

(The Reference to the entire Marie Claire article is below)
 http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/inspirational-women/hillary-clinton-farewell-3

Then I saw this on Facebook.  (Taken without permission from a friend quoting her sister-in-law)

I think the problem feminists have with Romney is that they don't value the role of mothers enough. It's like they think that being a stay at home mom and using our innate gifts as nurturers is degrading. Of course women can do whatever men can do but the most important job we have is nurturing and raising the next generation. I would be glad to have a president who acknowledges that and values mothers and the extremely important job they have.

..and then read about Eva Longoria's tweet on Twitter.

http://abcnews.go.com/ABC_Univision/eva-longoria-apologizes-controversial-retweet/story?id=17510004#.UIBaO8VX1C8

A political battle may ensue with these two references to candidates.  Tis' soon November.

However, it seems to me, that we as woman are not on the same page.  It seems we cannot even agree to disagree without creating animosity (yes that rhymes if read in rhythm and I'll take credit for it.)  Despite our political beliefs, most woman acknowledge that this life is hard whatever we are dished out.  Hillary Clinton has never been a stay at home mom of 5 children and Ann Romney has never been Secretary of State for the United States.  I've never heard either of them whine but I'd be okay with it if they did.  Both are hard jobs and I never want to judge another woman not being in her shoes.  We as women should support each other in every role and not paint each other as idiots for believing a certain way.  Aren't we all wanting to do our best in any role?    You don't have to be a feminist to fight for women's rights.  You can be a stay at home mom and understand lower wages of working woman.  You can be a working woman and value the role of mothers.

Goodness Gracious! We as women are all opinionated.  I just wish this brought us closer to understanding each other vs. pushing us apart on the political spectrum and elsewhere.  So please, don't judge or insult me by the many hats I do wear.  I am doing it all but am not having any of it.......But then again, I don't have the choice.

3 Tips for Mass Texting

I am single therefore I am forced to sext I mean text.  However I admit to being the worst communicator via my phones text messaging system.  I'm lazy or am just too busy/uninterested to bother.  It also could be my life long problem of not being a flirt or the fact that it takes me minutes to backspace my way through all the corrections my clumsy little fingers make while typing on a 3x5 index card. However I admit to having compiled a few mass texts (not to be confused with spam) and sending to multiple recipients as an intended personalized message.  It's an easy way to express sentiment to multiple people without spending the time or energy to do so.

As a recipient of these mass texts myself (the recent numbers and awareness is the direct result of being on the prowl) I am largely disappointed with the content of such messages (I am not as critical of mass texts from close friends and family vs. the ever so popular single man). There is an art to mass texting and all men are not currently aware of such skills. A future course in dating 2.0 possibly?  Here are a 3 things I noticed that made them devoid of any pertinence to me.  Mass texting isn't wrong, there are just social etiquettes and finesse that need to be done as to make every person feel important. (Please read How to Win Friends and Influence People if you have no clue why this would be important).


1.  If you are......Shout it from the rooftops!  Mass texts don't need to be personalized but for heaven sakes, allow the reader to understand it was meant for multiple people.  Include pluralities such as 'you all' or 'hey friends' or "we're meeting at'.  If you want to disguise the lack of personalization then spend a little effort in forming sentences that will make her/him think it was absolutely meant specifically for her/him while still sending it to a few others to maximize your effort.

2.  If I wanted a tweet I'd follow you on Twitter. These are the dead giveaways of mass texts.  Absolutely 100% no personalization.  Why would I care what you were doing at any given moment without me.  Twitter allows us all to stock our favorite people appropriately while texting is designed to let people know you have given them your number for a reason.  Send the mass text with imitations of personalization.  For example, "Eating at the Crab Cooker" is a tweet.  "At the Crab Cooker, wish you were here" can make a girl's heart swoon......even more than one.

3.  Respond back if they respond to you.  This is truly fostering a relationship with that individual.  Again, if you went through the effort to fake sincerity than this is not the time to prioritize between responses.  Your intent was to elicit emotion wasn't it?  Continue to communicate.  If you don't want this relationship....then never text that person again.

I hope this helps in your endeavour to text.  Especially if you are single soul. Heaven knows we all need help. By the way, this is meant to be funny.  However, it is still 100% true.

Surf Shack Favorite

My dream car is a 1943 Jeep Willy Wagon. The thought of restoring one and driving it to the supermarket everyday makes me giddy.  Imagine my excitement and inspiration when I came across this post off Remodelista's web site of which is one of my favorite surfing spots for ideas and inspiration.  A restoration of an old 1959 bus! Who needs an airstream when you can toss down 75K on this (no actual knowledge of cost or specifics disclaimer inserted here).  The before and after pictures are worth a peek in you're interested. (click here for details)  The possibilities of my Willy wagon just became even more dreamier.

Are bloomers really appropriate to put out to dry?

Truthfully I'm not sure what bloomers are...whether they are fashion or underwear, if they are modest or not and if they really are apropos to air out in the open for others to see.  The fact is when they are, it leaves you vulnerable and very much aware that you are exposed, naked even, with the world seeing things that may or may not be appropriate.

....And yet it's bloomers I think of versus the ever so popular thong when thinking about telling my life story (could this represent how protective I am figuratively with my laundry). Before I explain, I am well aware that my life story isn't yet complete and I'm hoping I'm not quit half way to death, however the thought of being exposed, vulnerable to the elements of truth, of my life up to this point, really made me think about how much we do actually tell people. If we 'go there' so to speak.  Do we tell the truth and risk offending others within this narrative?  Do we withhold the entirety of the experience protecting ourselves and others of any judgement that may come?  Do we air our dirty laundry and chance that the wind won't blow it in every possible direction. Is it about being honest with ourselves or respectful of the details of these life experiences?

Pretty heavy thoughts I know but as I venture on to new projects I am suddenly feeling there is a line that I cannot cross. That all the details relevant in personal history shouldn't be told.  That these experiences may be sensitive to others, even affecting current and possible future relationships, and that my humanity/honesty is less important than the feelings and/or response of others.

What are your thoughts?  Is this selective censorship?  How is the picture painted if we don't disclose all of the details of our past?  Can others still learn and understand our lives without them?  Point being, I am suddenly aware that I have much that hasn't been told.  That I have withheld many pieces of my story.  Maybe my laundry is already dry. Maybe it's not. Maybe if I do put my bloomers on the line, feeling the breeze will be exhilarating.  Maybe it's more work and cleanup than may be needed.

Must Share of the Day

This made me homesick for Beautiful Central Oregon!


Within Two Worlds from Goldpaint Photography on Vimeo.

Please Pass the Parfait

Today while talking with a co-worker, I mentioned how I love McDonald's dollar menu. I truly feel some odd sense of pride when I drive away having only ordered $2.00 worth of food for both my son and I (frugal or cheap discussion inserted here). Later in the day that same co-worker brought me a bag from McDonalds.  I opened it only to find a parfait.......my favorite item off the dollar menu!  My heart was so delighted and somewhat giddy in this treat (yes yogurt can make me giddy).  This unexpected kind gesture had made my afternoon.
This made me reflect on kindness.  I'm sure we all have made attempts to do something nice for somebody once a day.  It has yet to become a habit but of course this helps to switch the attention off ourselves and onto the welfare of others.  However, how often do we consciously focus on the kind things that were done for us once a day?  Did we notice that somebody held the door for us at the Post Office?  Or that while merging lanes in traffic somebody waved us on instead of giving us the bird.  Do we acknowledge the compliment somebody extended to us and value its sincerity? This is where our thoughts need to be. Focused of the kind acts instead of concentrating on how rude people have been.  We tend to get consumed with the ladder and complain about everything.  When we are focused on the kindness or others our days will because brighter and we more than likely will pass this kindness on. The bad experiences quickly will dissipate into the past.  We remember what we CAN do for others and how we can spread that joy just as it has been done for us. Thank you Bryan for this kind gift.  It truly helped me remember the value of $1.00.

Now to find somebody who can appreciate a hash brown as much as I do.   My second favorite item of the dollar menu.

3 cheers and tips for Pinterest

Pinterest has been an answer to my prayers.  Of course figuratively it has and not literally.  I haven't been praying nightly for a way to categorize my digital finds.  But if I had, I would know God hears my prayers and wants me to be happy.  I'm sure it was somebody elses prayer He answered and I am the fortunate beneficiary.

Before all this Internet hype, I would take tear pictures from magazines and put them in a folder for future reference.  Later, I would find myself reposting on a blog (which I still do as well) because my folder was and still is busting at the seams.  Now I find that whenever I think of it, I can go to pinterest to look at my vision board,  books I want to read or track what prayers have actually been answered.  It is my list of lists. I'm not so much a pinterest browser but rather a pinterest pinner.  I still read blogs through readers, surf the web for needed answers and research everything I do and buy.  Hence the happiness with Pinterest.  I pin what I like wherever I find it.  I definitely know of several improvements they could make and still don't understand how they make money, but that is a post for another day. (but if you know how they make money let me know) So, if you're not pinning then get too it.  Here are three tips for you

1.  Use it as a resource and not a time waster.  The internet sucks our time and pinterest may yet be another time warp. Don't let it happen to you... ....except for maybe Rainy Days and Mondays.
2.  Like things rather than pin.  You can still find what you liked but don't have to clutter your boards with stuff you really don't want to see again or won't find useful in a category.
3.  It doesn't matter who you follow.  Follow interesting people you may not even know that are original pinners.  It will expand your horizons. For some people Pinterest is the new twitter....but without words...and with cool pictures.....because reading is the lazy thing to do now days.

Sometimes you just need a little someone to lean on.  Someone who's taller, and stronger, and will be there when you need them.  

Any volunteers?

Do this and Never do that!

My grandmother used to tell me to never leave the house in curlers.  What a wise woman she was and I miss her tremendously everyday.  Not that we all don't know this but I guess the really question is, do we follow this wisdom?  I personally haven't put curlers in my hair since my wedding day and look how that turned out.  However, I have worn sweats to the grocery store, forgone the boulder holder, and left the house looking much like Montezumas revenge.....and on several occasions.  Inevitably 'IT' happens.  I run into somebody I know and it's never the somebody I want it to be.  A long time ago, a certain woman (the name and date have been changed to spare anymore embarrassment) had been swimming laps at the pool.  She hopped out, stripped off her suit, and decided to take a shower at home vs. the locker room of the rec center  With chlorinated dripping hair, suction cup marks around her eyes,  and mascara smudges to zoombify the effect, she trekked to the car hopping to make it from point A to point B unnoticed.  For heaven sakes, it was only 200 feet away.

I'm sure you know how this story ends.  It involves a past boyfriend, his beautiful wife and children, and the small talk that goes along with not having not seen each other for over a decade.  These moments of insecurity are wracked with horror and haunt us for days.  They are filled with the 'should have done's, and the 'only if's and the ever daunting 'why me's.  And then my thoughts return back to my grandmothers' words.

Never leave the house in Curlers!  or anything like unto it.

The finer things in life

The Widows Mite

This last Christmas I discovered artist Annie Henrie at a local exhibit.  I loved this picture of Mary and the Christ child and snapped a picture with my phone thinking that I would remember her name.  When I arrived home, I found myself frustrated that I didn't write her name down and it was yet another realization that my memory is not what it used to be.  However, while walking through Salt Lake City recently, I came across this other picture and I instantly knew it was the same artist.  It had instantly struck a chord with me.  Upon further research, I learned that Annie was voted one of the great new talents under 30 for SouthWest Art Magazine and was receiving additional recognition for her talents.  There were several original pieces of work to admire that day but the $4000 price tag of The Widows Mite didn't quite fit in my budget.  Thankfully, they had a smaller giclee that I am now the proud owner of.  I am grateful for the inspiration that this picture now offers me.

Rejoice

Recently, a friend came to me with good news.  Her desire to share this news was half of the excitement. Her countenance was bright and you would had thought that she had the winning lottery ticket for $365 million.  Later that night I received a text from her telling me that her spirits had been dampened after talking to friends who told her to not get excited about a book deal until she saw the contract.  This had brought her back down to earth and she apologized in having shared her delight.

Bah Humbug!  (or anything replaceable for the load of bull just dished out by her "friends")

My reply back was instant and opinionated.  It doesn't matter what your friends say!  Don't let them rain of your parade.  It may be the shortest main street in history but these are the moments that let us soar!  The moments that let us feel the confidence that enables us to make it through another day.  I don't know about you but I don't receive good news daily and when I do I certainly want to make that feeling and joy last as long as it can, even if its not practical.  There is so much sorrow, too many downtrodden hearts and not enough rejoicing in our every day accomplishments.  For heaven sakes, its a book deal!  I would have broke out the champagne for completing a haiku.

So the next time someone shares good news with you, be happy for them! Share in their excitement and REJOICE in the moment.  Even it you know that their newly refunded $1.27 from the IRS, will not fund the vacation they have been planning.  Let those details come to fruition in due time.  You may just be surprised at how well they could budget that $1.27.

One thing that I am not is Polished.....and that includes even my nails!

I read somewhere that people make snap judgements about other people depending on the look of their fingernails.  We assume somebody's profession and even wealth within our own society. If ones nails are unkempt that is a sign of a lower class.  Even the color on a women's nail supposedly creates an image of our mind about their personality. 

What must people think of me?  My nails are atrocious and I'm not even an auto mechanic.  They peel, grow crooked and the left hand is always cut short with the intention that I will practice the guitar daily (and of course I never do).

Adding this to the To-Do list of beauty regimens is definitely a must.  However the more I starting thinking about this the more I realized there is something else at play.  Why haven't I maintained my nails in recent months?  Could it be that the lack of luster in my nails is directly proportionate to the lack of handholding going on.  Or does that statement need to be reversed.  The lack of handholding is directly related to the look of my hands and that no individual would desire to hold it after seeing such hang nails.  (I will refrain from posting exhibit A)

It does leave me in a quandary as to how to remedy both situations since a connection seems to have been established.  A nail file, cuticle cream are of course top priorities. But what about that hand holding? What is the solution for that.

I might be a little late to score a valentine for 2012 but my nails will look PDG when I pass out those valentines' out to lucky individuals.  However, yours might just come in the mail if I don't see you on a regular basis.  So please, imagine beautiful nails and pass the word.  There is hope for 2013!