Boxes and Rails

Today I went skiing with my 7 year old son.  He is at the age where freestyle skiing is all the rage and we've been focusing on conquering the beginner terrain park.    My technique in teaching him has not been without failure.  I have told him what to do, encouraged him to try and had him watch others ride boxes and rails that he so desires to achieve.  But all my efforts in these tactics have come up with him being disappointed and not learning the intended goal.  Down we go again, to ride up to the top and have another short run at it.  Needless to say, it hasn't

been the most productive use of our time.

                         It was only today when I mustered the courage and demonstrated the techniques (of which I had never accomplished this particular feat before either) in where he really started to grasp the concept.  It was not easy to do but I did it with as much authority as I could.  Suddenly, it all started to come together for him and it came down to the well known adage, monkey see monkey do.  He was then willing to try and not ski past the obstacles. It may not have been smooth his first run, but just like anything with practice it becomes easier.   Looking back, I realized that this has been happening all along his skiing career.  If I did a nice big turn, he did a nice big turn.  If I skied across the run to a small jump, he skied across the run to the small jump.   If I bent my knees to get more air, I observed that he would do the same.  After telling him several times how to turn on a box, he just wasn't doing it.   Demonstrating my own instructions made all the difference and he followed my lead and conquered the 90 degree box slide….and his mom could not have been more proud. 

                         As it is with all successful and good leaders.  It is easy to mimic the qualities of others when we see their success.  We also want to achieve greatness.  Their exemplary character inspires us to become better ourselves.  We will copy what they do, make decisions as they do, and become a leader as they have been.  Monkey see, monkey do - There really is no difference.     Just being around them, brings out the best in us.  However when we have complacent managers, who tell us what to do and talk about theory without making it the reality, we become complacent ourselves. Their actions do not create an appropriate vision of what we may be asked to do and we may not have it in us to become sufficiently impassioned to do otherwise.  

                                Just like I learned today that courage is required in these instances.   It may be the first time we have charted our paths of leadership and it’s inevitable that we may fall.  However when we do fall, we must be able to get up and try again, because others may be watching who do need to be sufficiently impassioned.  They may need to see courage in action.  We need to not only do things for personally victories but to be a good leader and inspire others.  My efforts today were rewarded by seeing the skills and confidence develop in another.  The satisfaction of helping someone, especially someone dear to my heart, achieve their goals.  Sometimes we know what to do and we just need to have the courage to lead by example. 

Mile One

On Saturday, I headed out for my morning run.  A paved running trails lays behind my house bordering a nature preserve making motivation innate on such beautiful mornings.  Rows of porches line the pathway and the aroma of coffee permeates as individuals rejuvenate and watch the sun blaze up from the horizon.   A casual nod or hello is standard as runners and bikers are commonplace on the trail, but most individuals aren't distracted from the peacefulness that is easily breathed in with the morning light.

As I ran, the first neighbor I encountered started clapping as I passed.  He must have known the temptation I endured to sleep in even longer that day than I did.  His small acknowledgement encouraged me none the less further down the pathway.  A quarter of a mile later, another individual cheered me on with "looking good" comments.  This salutation admittingly made me run just a little bit stronger as I past.  A handful of houses down, an octogenarian stood exuberantly offering to spray me down with a hose. I giggled and waved him off assertively with my hands.  Did I look that bad or was he the nicest man to ever water fight?  It took me a microsecond when the next passerby retorted that I was "almost there" that made me realize I must be on a running course.  Sure enough with one glance behind me, numbered bibs dotted the pathway sporadically. The pressure suddenly mounted to run with more vigor than before.  Shortly, I came upon a sign that read mile 26, Park City Marathon.  I certainly hope I was looking good at mile 1. The closer I came to completion of the course the more exclamation of joyous hoorays I heard and I knew such triumph should be saved for the true competitors and I quickly wondered off course before the finish line.

After I finished my much shorter run, I returned to the trail behind my house.  I watched the many competitors pass and observed how their eyes lit with the slightest acknowledgement of their feat. Some looked strong while others seemed to be longing for another moment in time.  I imagined the old man right around the corner and how his unique gift must bring the must needed relief and gratitude as faces were cooled and distracted in these last final steps of the competition.  My experience running the course made me ponder about the journey we call life and the comparison between the two.  Didn't you know this was coming? Wouldn't it be nice if we received the encouraging word throughout our day, despite each of our journeys being different?  How much stronger would we be if we knew onlookers were routing for us to succeed?  On days, like mile 19, when we hit the wall and feel as if we cannot give another ounce of energy to our tasks, to only have someone give us a cup of water or exclaim with enthusiasm that we ourselves lacked, that we can indeed do it!

These words of encouragement are needed more often throughout our lives to help us retain and regain our strength when needed.  Whether it be from family, friends or even the complete stranger rejoicing and acknowledging our accomplishments.  The world would be a much easier race place.  Running a marathon without support would be even more grueling but yet our lives are far longer than just the 26 miles I am referring to and much more encompassed with hurdles and obstacles along the way.  How often do we feel that we just can't go another step?

I am committed to cheer and rejoice with others, especially those I may not know of their current route along the course. You never know when a smile, a kind word or even a hose down can help another through a moment of doubt or troubled time.  Who do you know who needs just an extra bit of encouragement to continue on the path? What do you know about the people in your life and what they are currently dealing with?  Who will you come in contact with today that needs that kind word? Who can you cheer on today?

....... all because of a Saturday morning run, and the fresh air that freed and inspired my mind for good.

Getting Wild

A handful of years ago, my husband and I decided to get a divorce.  The sadness I felt was unimaginable and I was paralyzed with grief.  I knew I needed to find purpose in my life as getting out of bed was a treacherous chore.  In typical Dori fashion I decided that only an excursion along the Pacific Crest Trail would do.  From the Mexicali border all the way to Washington state in the north, I would find a new purpose, with new dreams to conquer in every step of the way. I spent hours researching the needed resources and presented my plans,convincing friends to journey with me on different legs of the trip.  It would take all 2500+ miles to come to peace and close the door on my shattered reality.

I remember sitting at lunch with my brother as the first thoughts of doubt began to creep in.   He and his friend heckled the idea of trekking with me across the Mohave desert and  presented the absurdities of my trip.  For goodness sake I was serious!!  I then learned of two girls killed in Oregon while hiking along the trail, then another.  Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all and the guidebook and paper trail of notes remain on a shelf to this day.

$9.99 on amazon

Recently, while strolling through a store, a byline from a book elevated itself from its cover. From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail.  It is about a woman whose mother had died, had gotten divorced and impulsively decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail.  Cheryl Strayed had wrote my book!  An Oprah book club selection, a New York times bestseller and stealing the words right off the cover, "a literary and human triumph."  How would I resist reading the book I'd never again have the opportunity to write.


It's easy to place myself in her shoes as she shares her experiences.  The candor of her writing is admirable and sometimes startling as the story unfolds. Wild is a memoir of one woman's amazing journey not only along the PCT, but through her life at the time and the needed journey to redemption.  I have laughed, I have cried and I have cringed as she used the 'F' word yet again in her writing.  She shares intimate details of her broken life and her journey along the trail.  It's exactly what I wanted to do years ago,but didn't.

It's easy to ponder the path my life would have taken if I too had decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail those many years ago.  I would have healed much faster. I would have overcome the pain sooner.... And I never would have ended up pregnant staring divorce in the face prolonging the inevitable painful decision. (The scariest thing I've yet to experience.)  Cheryl and I have many remarkable similarities within our stories but many differences abound.  One being that of the decision we both made that ultimately helped me overcome the sadness I did feel without ever hiking the trail. The opportunity that instantly gave me purpose and the reason to get out of bed.  The journey that would lead me well beyond 2500 miles and give me purpose for more than the expected 18 years.

Go an get Wild.  It is indeed "a literary and human triumph" that may just inspire you to do things you never imagined you could.

Bad nights make for horrible looking mornings

It's definitely not the way you want to start a Monday morning, the new week, or even the carpool to the elementary school.  Is there anything worse than waking up and seeing puffy eyes?  It's the inescapable feeling that you have aged 7 years in one night.  This morning I look like I drink like a fish!  But I don't drink and can't blame the calming effects of red wine from the previous nights evening. However I can blame it on a bad night.  One filled with sorrow, a tad bit of anger, a rekindled friendship, and salty tears that diffuse straight back into my dehydrated body when they flow.

Fortunately the beauty of life is that we do have the opportunity to change the day.  It may be hard but finding the wind for our sails takes looking for it as diligently as possible.  With less energy than planned and looking like an extra on a horror flick, here is what I found helped me this morning.

• Laughter - Isn't this always the best medicine?  A sincere chuckle and the stress releasing hormones that the brain releases really lightens your mood.  Even if it requires laughing at yourself.  I found myself laughing at a somewhat stupid reference to the old TV show My three sons during an episode of This American Life on my morning run walk mosey.  I immediately felt better and clarity reigned for a whole two seconds.  
• Load up -  On a great breakfast.  One resulting in brain power and energy. Whole grains or peanut butter or a awesome protein shake would be totally appropriate.  It will help balance what you may be missing......and if that doesn't work than caffeinate or sugar load.  It will at least get you through the morning feeling better albeit temporarily.  
• Fight on! (that's in honor of my niece who was just accepted her full ride scholarship to USC.) Keep with your schedule, exercise despite what you feel, conquer the world and don't forget to take a hot shower.  Singing loud to a Carpenters song never hurt either.   Don't let this rainy day or Monday get you down.  

As simple as these are, they really do help and the energy expended is very little to accomplish what could change the day 100%.  It's still Monday and I have a lot on my plate but I'm crossing yesterday off my list and moving forward.  Let the hallelujah chorus begin.  It's Monday, a  new day with new beginnings and every opportunity for change.

......and if those don't work than go purchase these Kate Spade oversized sunglasses to hide a little bit of the bad morning that you may be having.  They are my new item I'm coveting.  After all, the beauty of life is the opportunity for change and these rose colored glasses may be just what is needed to improve your outlook.  

5 resolutions you can keep

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

yes I'm yelling 

It's that time of year that we hold ourselves accountable for new goals and set expectations of the coming year.  However, how often do we resolve to do the same things year after year.  Do we even stop to write them down  or do we have the list memorized from years prior.  Resolutions become moot after a few weeks or even days.  However, this year can be different.  Commit to 5 items that will surely make a difference across the year to improve relationships and increase energy, allowing you to conquer the world.   Simple and easy principles of betterment.  

1.  Smile More
No extra time required!  You can accomplish it whenever and wherever you are.  Is it easy?  Maybe not, but the fact is we will be happier if we do.  It may be responsible for mending bridges, opening doors and stabilizing relationships.  Just like my mother told me - fake it, until you make it.  Your world will be brighter and you may bring joy to those who need it.

2.  Keep in Contact
Friendship is eternal and is more valuable than we may even be aware of.  How many of us have lost contact with treasured friends, co-workers and even family members. Reach out to an individuals and build relationships.  Even if it's once a year.  Even if its facebook poke.  Keeping in contact may require some additional effort but its overall purpose is to let people know you care and bring us closer together as human beings.  One minute of our time may improve the 24 hours of our day.  You never know when you may be the needed friend or when you may need that friend.

3.  Drink more water
It can't hurt, it saves money and it increases our energy over time.  Is there anything debatable about this?  It even decreases wrinkles if I've read reputable sources. You CAN definitely do this.  Push away the soda, drive past Starbucks and reach for a water bottle.  Dehydration even mildly, causes mood swings, headaches and fatigue.  And the list goes on. Even if it's one more glass a day than we are drinking currently.  It is estimated that 50% of the world population is dehydrated with the US nearing 75% dehydration.  Why isn't it we didn't have the energy to do anything?  This might just solve the problem.

4. Eat Less sugar
I am guilty of eating way to much sugar.  My love affair with finding the next carb filled, gluttonous item, to fulfill the relationship with my sweet tooth  has controlled me far to many years.  I am not alone.  A radical change may be fruitless as we bound back to our old ways in the face of temptation. However, one less cookie is beneficial.  Eating fruit as a replacement improves our fiber intake.  Having power over this addictive relationship will be unleashing our true potential. That might be an small exaggeration. Increased energy, smaller waste line, less dental problems and decreased heart disease, are just a few factual benefits. The quality of our long term health would be greatly improved.

5. Increase Motion
Notice that I didn't say exercise. Commit to demonstrate the physics of energy.  Convert potential energy to kinetic energy. Don't stay sedentary.  Movement throughout the day is better for our overall health.  Take the stairs vs. the elevator.  Park further away from the door at a store or office building. Wash your car by hand.  Any activity that keeps you moving by burning energy will benefit you. Even in little doses from what you may be currently doing. Our circulation will increase, our blood will flow and move oxygen will reach our brain, allowing us to think more clearly.

Little effort = Huge outcome. Five resolutions you CAN keep.

My kind of Craft

Years ago I gave up crafting.

There were multiple reasons involved. 

I now thoroughly enjoy my craft less life.  

However, every so often my desire to replicate creativeness slowly rises.  It's usually when I see something easy...or disposable.  Because perfectionism can't seep back into my life and ruin my project.

Hence...the advent Calendar.   

And

because it's easy.  

and I know I can do it.  

I already own the supplies

no money needs to be spent

I won't spend hours not finishing

and I'll feel good when I complete it in 15 minutes.

(a few of the reasons that help explain why I gave up crafting.)

Clothes pins and washi tape.  As easy as Pie!

It's not original to me so check it out here where credit is due. of StylEASYmo!