Mile One

On Saturday, I headed out for my morning run.  A paved running trails lays behind my house bordering a nature preserve making motivation innate on such beautiful mornings.  Rows of porches line the pathway and the aroma of coffee permeates as individuals rejuvenate and watch the sun blaze up from the horizon.   A casual nod or hello is standard as runners and bikers are commonplace on the trail, but most individuals aren't distracted from the peacefulness that is easily breathed in with the morning light.

As I ran, the first neighbor I encountered started clapping as I passed.  He must have known the temptation I endured to sleep in even longer that day than I did.  His small acknowledgement encouraged me none the less further down the pathway.  A quarter of a mile later, another individual cheered me on with "looking good" comments.  This salutation admittingly made me run just a little bit stronger as I past.  A handful of houses down, an octogenarian stood exuberantly offering to spray me down with a hose. I giggled and waved him off assertively with my hands.  Did I look that bad or was he the nicest man to ever water fight?  It took me a microsecond when the next passerby retorted that I was "almost there" that made me realize I must be on a running course.  Sure enough with one glance behind me, numbered bibs dotted the pathway sporadically. The pressure suddenly mounted to run with more vigor than before.  Shortly, I came upon a sign that read mile 26, Park City Marathon.  I certainly hope I was looking good at mile 1. The closer I came to completion of the course the more exclamation of joyous hoorays I heard and I knew such triumph should be saved for the true competitors and I quickly wondered off course before the finish line.

After I finished my much shorter run, I returned to the trail behind my house.  I watched the many competitors pass and observed how their eyes lit with the slightest acknowledgement of their feat. Some looked strong while others seemed to be longing for another moment in time.  I imagined the old man right around the corner and how his unique gift must bring the must needed relief and gratitude as faces were cooled and distracted in these last final steps of the competition.  My experience running the course made me ponder about the journey we call life and the comparison between the two.  Didn't you know this was coming? Wouldn't it be nice if we received the encouraging word throughout our day, despite each of our journeys being different?  How much stronger would we be if we knew onlookers were routing for us to succeed?  On days, like mile 19, when we hit the wall and feel as if we cannot give another ounce of energy to our tasks, to only have someone give us a cup of water or exclaim with enthusiasm that we ourselves lacked, that we can indeed do it!

These words of encouragement are needed more often throughout our lives to help us retain and regain our strength when needed.  Whether it be from family, friends or even the complete stranger rejoicing and acknowledging our accomplishments.  The world would be a much easier race place.  Running a marathon without support would be even more grueling but yet our lives are far longer than just the 26 miles I am referring to and much more encompassed with hurdles and obstacles along the way.  How often do we feel that we just can't go another step?

I am committed to cheer and rejoice with others, especially those I may not know of their current route along the course. You never know when a smile, a kind word or even a hose down can help another through a moment of doubt or troubled time.  Who do you know who needs just an extra bit of encouragement to continue on the path? What do you know about the people in your life and what they are currently dealing with?  Who will you come in contact with today that needs that kind word? Who can you cheer on today?

....... all because of a Saturday morning run, and the fresh air that freed and inspired my mind for good.

Don't get me started

A couple of days ago I was hot. So hot you could see steam rising and hear the sizzle.

Hot under the collar.

I ranted and raged to the person next to me, confirming to them that I was indeed a crazy person.  I'm usually not vocally opinionated about cliche phrases and words of political correctness, but maybe my situation as of late (tax season) has made me a little more sensitive to the situation.  It may be old news but I needed two days to just cool off to finally address the comment.

In an interview, Michelle Obama compared herself to a single mom.  She corrected herself and reworded......that she was as 'busy' as a single mom.  No harm done, I think we can understand that sometimes we say things by accident in the moment.   Then Obama, son of a single mother, stepped his foot in it when he reiterated the praise and chuckled.

But then again, I guess he had grandparents to help out......and the luxuries of government assistance.

Obama: Michelle has often been like a single mother

http://www.usatoday.com/story/theoval/2013/04/24/obama-michelle-today-interview-single-mother/2108957/

I'm a single mom and that is different than being a working mom.  Do I need to repeat that?  I don't want to say that both don't have many of the same struggles. The guilt of dividing your time,  the constant pull in different directions, inadequacies of not quite being 100% present in either role.  The list could go on and on in comparing the similarities between the two.  But do people really understand the differences?  Do people really even care?

Has Michelle Obama ever wondered how food would be put on the table?   Has she ever pushed a sick child into day care because she couldn't afford to take a day off work?  Again, the list could go on and on.

I'm not on welfare.  I fortunately make too much money to qualify but unfortunately too little to give my son the life he deserves.  So I continue working, as hard as I can. And stressing.  And losing sleep.  And never seeming to get ahead in the world.  With no support from others and nobody there at the end of the day.

While my hat is off to every working mother it is also off to stay at home mothers.  We have unique rolls in this world and the joys of motherhood can fuel us to do things we never thought possible.  My hat even goes off to Michelle Obama and I have deep respect for her in her role.  I can even imagine being the wife of a president and what that must be like.  That is definitely not an easy job.  

However as the old adage goes.  Never judge another man without walking in their shoes.  Especially the single mothers of the world.

Hello I love you!

My niece spoke in church the other day.  I had the awesome opportunity and privilege to be there.  She started matter of fact just as any unpretentiously confident 14 year old would.  "A man named Jim Morrison once said.........."  I perked up.  Maybe church wouldn't be as dry today after all.  I smiled as I was filled with pride she was quoting a legendary musical figure.  I chuckled because she had absolutely no idea who she was talking about.

I realize that we're living in a new age, the millennial dawn of  2013.  The Doors made hits in the late 1960's.  I too came around after that.  However while my niece is listening to the manufactured bebop of One Direction (Zoom and I listen to them all the time and we think you're beautiful) there is a whole other world of music out there.  I'm not a music junkie that has an LP collection or can even recite lyrics, but I do appreciate good rock and roll, classic jazz, and unduplicatable soul.  I appreciate the diversity of the times from one generation to the next. They bring the history of these times into relevance.  You're reminded of experiences and lessons  long forgotten and place us in another dimension (no psychedelic implication from the Doors here).  Music teaches the soul and inspires the mind.  What music do you appreciate   What inspires you to conquer the world?

While there is no necessity of flashing back I encourage you to listen to some music from the past.  Songs that transport you.  Songs that change your outlook or feelings for the moment despite having fell from their billboard rank.  Hunt it out.  Play it for your children and give them a piece of the past.  Even if it came long before you did.  Balance the yin with the yang in today's world.  Help educate a younger generation of the history of excellence.  Music appreciation.

Thank you Hailey for a wonderful talk.  With a talk like that it will be no time at all until you "break on through to the other side." (You knew it was coming as soon as you read the title.  How could I resist.)

Hear Mama Bear Roar!

Fact:  I'm divorced
Fact:  I'm a single mother
Fact:  I am no less valuable as a human being because of the two previous statements.

......and neither is my son.  Now how to teach a five year old that he isn't defined by the actions of his parents is a whole new awareness I have.

The fact of the matter is that you are treated differently. You are labeled. Especially in the mormon culture of my pedigree.  It's like I'm wearing a big scarlet letter on my chest (no this isn't some admittance of guilt) or a yellow star as an identifying mark.  Fortunately I am stubborn. I won't be defined by this label.  It was a decision I made to better my life and and the life of my future child. I was right.  However, with every decision it's inevitable that the judgement comes.

Recently my son was labeled as the kid whose parents were divorced. He knew that it was meant to make him feel bad but wasn't quite sure why it should. The hardest part was that it came from a family member.  The people who are supposed to love us unconditionally - without judgement.

This is where mama bear roars.  Not at the little boy who desired to lessen the confidence of my son, but rather at life...at people...and at labels.  He is innocent, perfect and shouldn't be defined as such.  Can I teach him his worth?  Can he shrug off this label as easily as I can?  Can he emotionally understand that the labels of others  have more to do with their own insecurities than that of reality?

A battle is brewing.  To win this ridiculous war and shed light on the issue. I will fight to the death to protect the worth of my child. Not just mine, but others as well.  Nothing will limit his knowledge of his own personal worth.

It all starts at home.

Dare Dream Do

Two words you need to know.

Disruptive Innovation

....and if you want to sound smart you should use them in a sentence together.  Because it's a theory, a business model, or even an approach to life.  Confused?  So was I, however I'm really excited about what I now know, and am learning, and am thinking about.  So excited that I forked out money for a book.....to learn....to understand....and to be inspired.  Hence the reason I'm sharing with you!

As much as I'd never heard these words together I had also not heard of Whitney Johnson. She was one of INC magazine's top 12 people to follow on twitter in 2012.  She also writes for the Harvard Business Review, is a speaker for TEDx, and co-founded and investment firm with Clay Christensen who is the foremost expert in disruptive innovation (I told you you'd sound smart if you used them in a sentence...or maybe it was her resume that made me sound more intelligent than I am!).

She also wrote a book.  Which you need to read.  Even buy I might add.  Because it will inspire you.  To do what you need to do, or what you maybe have been thinking of doing.  I know it has for me and I feel better about daring and dreaming and doing than I have in a long time.  It has been the kick starter to motivation.

Dare Dream Do

I'll even send you my copy if you want.....After I'm done reading it a second time (I follow the Stephen Covey approach to book reading). Because I share her dream......in helping you achieve yours.

You can also watch this video to learn more about her.  It's what inspired me on my information quest last Friday and prompted the 'stop everything and drive to Barnes and Nobel'.  Your life might just change because of it.  I know mine has.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td8MvK1Dy_0&feature=youtu.be

Oh Boy! Girls are sure opinionated....

In the past few months I read this article.  It's thought provoking to say the least. It's about woman and if they truly can have it all by ANNE-MARIE SLAUGHTER.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/

Today I read this article.  My eyebrows raised a little as I noticed I had an opinion too.   Was I referenced in this article? Not directly by name, but by position or role in life (working woman, mother etc).

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1012/82586.html

(The Reference to the entire Marie Claire article is below)
 http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/inspirational-women/hillary-clinton-farewell-3

Then I saw this on Facebook.  (Taken without permission from a friend quoting her sister-in-law)

I think the problem feminists have with Romney is that they don't value the role of mothers enough. It's like they think that being a stay at home mom and using our innate gifts as nurturers is degrading. Of course women can do whatever men can do but the most important job we have is nurturing and raising the next generation. I would be glad to have a president who acknowledges that and values mothers and the extremely important job they have.

..and then read about Eva Longoria's tweet on Twitter.

http://abcnews.go.com/ABC_Univision/eva-longoria-apologizes-controversial-retweet/story?id=17510004#.UIBaO8VX1C8

A political battle may ensue with these two references to candidates.  Tis' soon November.

However, it seems to me, that we as woman are not on the same page.  It seems we cannot even agree to disagree without creating animosity (yes that rhymes if read in rhythm and I'll take credit for it.)  Despite our political beliefs, most woman acknowledge that this life is hard whatever we are dished out.  Hillary Clinton has never been a stay at home mom of 5 children and Ann Romney has never been Secretary of State for the United States.  I've never heard either of them whine but I'd be okay with it if they did.  Both are hard jobs and I never want to judge another woman not being in her shoes.  We as women should support each other in every role and not paint each other as idiots for believing a certain way.  Aren't we all wanting to do our best in any role?    You don't have to be a feminist to fight for women's rights.  You can be a stay at home mom and understand lower wages of working woman.  You can be a working woman and value the role of mothers.

Goodness Gracious! We as women are all opinionated.  I just wish this brought us closer to understanding each other vs. pushing us apart on the political spectrum and elsewhere.  So please, don't judge or insult me by the many hats I do wear.  I am doing it all but am not having any of it.......But then again, I don't have the choice.

Please Pass the Parfait

Today while talking with a co-worker, I mentioned how I love McDonald's dollar menu. I truly feel some odd sense of pride when I drive away having only ordered $2.00 worth of food for both my son and I (frugal or cheap discussion inserted here). Later in the day that same co-worker brought me a bag from McDonalds.  I opened it only to find a parfait.......my favorite item off the dollar menu!  My heart was so delighted and somewhat giddy in this treat (yes yogurt can make me giddy).  This unexpected kind gesture had made my afternoon.
This made me reflect on kindness.  I'm sure we all have made attempts to do something nice for somebody once a day.  It has yet to become a habit but of course this helps to switch the attention off ourselves and onto the welfare of others.  However, how often do we consciously focus on the kind things that were done for us once a day?  Did we notice that somebody held the door for us at the Post Office?  Or that while merging lanes in traffic somebody waved us on instead of giving us the bird.  Do we acknowledge the compliment somebody extended to us and value its sincerity? This is where our thoughts need to be. Focused of the kind acts instead of concentrating on how rude people have been.  We tend to get consumed with the ladder and complain about everything.  When we are focused on the kindness or others our days will because brighter and we more than likely will pass this kindness on. The bad experiences quickly will dissipate into the past.  We remember what we CAN do for others and how we can spread that joy just as it has been done for us. Thank you Bryan for this kind gift.  It truly helped me remember the value of $1.00.

Now to find somebody who can appreciate a hash brown as much as I do.   My second favorite item of the dollar menu.

Do this and Never do that!

My grandmother used to tell me to never leave the house in curlers.  What a wise woman she was and I miss her tremendously everyday.  Not that we all don't know this but I guess the really question is, do we follow this wisdom?  I personally haven't put curlers in my hair since my wedding day and look how that turned out.  However, I have worn sweats to the grocery store, forgone the boulder holder, and left the house looking much like Montezumas revenge.....and on several occasions.  Inevitably 'IT' happens.  I run into somebody I know and it's never the somebody I want it to be.  A long time ago, a certain woman (the name and date have been changed to spare anymore embarrassment) had been swimming laps at the pool.  She hopped out, stripped off her suit, and decided to take a shower at home vs. the locker room of the rec center  With chlorinated dripping hair, suction cup marks around her eyes,  and mascara smudges to zoombify the effect, she trekked to the car hopping to make it from point A to point B unnoticed.  For heaven sakes, it was only 200 feet away.

I'm sure you know how this story ends.  It involves a past boyfriend, his beautiful wife and children, and the small talk that goes along with not having not seen each other for over a decade.  These moments of insecurity are wracked with horror and haunt us for days.  They are filled with the 'should have done's, and the 'only if's and the ever daunting 'why me's.  And then my thoughts return back to my grandmothers' words.

Never leave the house in Curlers!  or anything like unto it.

Rejoice

Recently, a friend came to me with good news.  Her desire to share this news was half of the excitement. Her countenance was bright and you would had thought that she had the winning lottery ticket for $365 million.  Later that night I received a text from her telling me that her spirits had been dampened after talking to friends who told her to not get excited about a book deal until she saw the contract.  This had brought her back down to earth and she apologized in having shared her delight.

Bah Humbug!  (or anything replaceable for the load of bull just dished out by her "friends")

My reply back was instant and opinionated.  It doesn't matter what your friends say!  Don't let them rain of your parade.  It may be the shortest main street in history but these are the moments that let us soar!  The moments that let us feel the confidence that enables us to make it through another day.  I don't know about you but I don't receive good news daily and when I do I certainly want to make that feeling and joy last as long as it can, even if its not practical.  There is so much sorrow, too many downtrodden hearts and not enough rejoicing in our every day accomplishments.  For heaven sakes, its a book deal!  I would have broke out the champagne for completing a haiku.

So the next time someone shares good news with you, be happy for them! Share in their excitement and REJOICE in the moment.  Even it you know that their newly refunded $1.27 from the IRS, will not fund the vacation they have been planning.  Let those details come to fruition in due time.  You may just be surprised at how well they could budget that $1.27.